Wingman Training

Here’s a premise all guys should abide: Never work with a wingman.

I will write about this later, but since all dudes should know to always have a wingman, here is the rule’s correlation: Wingmen should train together.

This is the story of the wingman fiasco of 2009.

A few weeks ago, my wingman Greg Sanchez, another dude, and I were out at our second usual hangout bar in Manhattan Beach. We sat next to a group of four women and a guy—knowing full well that not all of those women are there for him. Obeying the guy rule “Never Rack-Jack Another Dude”, we observed who was getting most of his attention. She is off-limits for the night (unless, of course, he turns out to be a douche, or she initiates contact, or she winks at you, or she is over a 6, or you're bored).

So we proceed with the play.

Step 1: Introductions

We introduced ourselves while being careful not to give too much information before we find out more of them.

Step 2: Information Gathering

We got the names of the people at the other table. It is also important, at this time, to find out their history with the city. In this case, the woman Greg was talking to just moved to LA a few months ago. We’ll call her “whatshername.” This important piece of information brings us to…

Step 3: Calling the Play

Now, Greg doesn’t necessarily know the plays that I call as his wingman. For the most part, though, a good wingbro will know what kind of offense the other is setting up—ground game, air attack, smash and dash…you know. For Greg, I called an improvised play—a hybrid of the “Give-and-Go” and “Tourist Trap”.

Step 4: Initiating the Play

So I was laying down the foundation of the “Give-and-Go”—I was buttering up “whatshername” with wit and charm when “whatshername” said that she’s from Phoenix. I said “my buddy Greg here…he showed me around LA when I first moved.” Turning my attention to Greg, I said “Greg, why don’t you tell ‘whatshername’ where to get the best Mexican food” (Tip: always connect the cities with cuisine).

This is as far as this part of the night went because things went horribly wrong from here.

She seemed to be interested in my buddy, but little did I know that he wanted just to protect the pocket. Even though it seemed that Greg was hitting it off with “whatshername” and that she was into him, Greg really wasn’t. I didn’t know this until he kicked me under the table—giving me the audible.

And this is why wingmen have to train together; because while I have a rule that I don’t go for anyone I can’t bench press, Greg has a rule that he doesn’t go for anyone who can bench press him.

Duly noted, Greg.

You’re welcome!